My experience taking benzodiazepines (Clonazepam)
There’s a huge stigma around benzodiazepines, the most well-known one being Clonazepam. For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s what Wikipedia says about this medication:
Clonazepam is a drug that belongs to the benzodiazepine group and acts on the central nervous system, with anxiolytic, anticonvulsant, muscle relaxant, sedative, hypnotic, and mood-stabilizing properties.
It’s a medication primarily used to treat anxiety-related issues, and according to my personal experience and my psychiatrist, it’s taken by MANY people around the world, even though society as a whole tends to demonize it. Today, I want to share my experience with this medication because, to be honest, I was really scared to start taking it.
Like every mental health post on this blog, please keep in mind that I am NOT a mental health professional, nor do I have any medical training. Everything expressed here is based on my experience dealing with two specific disorders: generalized anxiety and depression. You should always consult a certified psychologist or psychiatrist to address your concerns or clarify doubts about your condition.
I started taking Clonazepam in 2020, when my life took an unexpected turn, and I basically lost everything I had worked so hard to build over three years. One afternoon, I went to my psychiatrist feeling extremely depressed, with no will to keep living, and with generalized anxiety disorder that had only been partially managed through therapy. The first thing my psychiatrist did was prescribe Prozac and Clonazepam, a winning combination in cases like mine.
As I mentioned before, I was terrified because I had already heard a dozen negative things about Clonazepam. Here’s a quick list:
- It was a very strong drug that you could easily become dependent on.
- It would rot your brain due to its anxiolytic effects.
- It would change your personality or take away your ability to feel emotions.
- It could make you stupid, distracted, and prone to making mistakes.
- It was used as a club drug to take advantage of people.
- It could eventually cause insomnia or worsen depression.
- Sexual dysfunction was almost guaranteed.
A lot of these ideas came from family members who gave their unsolicited opinions when I told them I wanted to see a psychiatrist. Naturally, I shared all of this with my doctor, and instead of just dismissing my concerns, he reassured me that the dosage I would be taking wouldn’t have those effects. I kept pressing because it was very important to me not to feel “slowed down,” since my work has always been creative, and I needed my brain to be as sharp as possible. He assured me that wouldn’t happen. And honestly, it didn’t. But I did feel different, and of course, the effects didn’t go unnoticed.
Some key points about my treatment:
- It lasted about two and a half years.
- The dosage changed over time, usually decreasing when my anxiety and overall life improved. If I had a relapse, the dosage could go back up—but always under my doctor’s supervision.
- I took the liquid drop version of Clonazepam to better control the dosage.
- Sometimes, I bought the brand-name medication (Rivotril), and other times, I got it from a different lab. I never noticed any difference.
- My treatment included an antidepressant alongside Clonazepam.
- To avoid withdrawal symptoms, I stopped taking the antidepressant first and then Clonazepam, with my doctor gradually adjusting the dosage until one day I simply stopped.
- I visited my psychiatrist about every two months.
- I combined psychiatric treatment with therapy—my psychiatrist never provided therapy.
About the positive effects
The first thing I noticed was a sense of relaxation, which lasted throughout my entire treatment whenever I took my dose. More than feeling “slowed down,” I felt more present. That, combined with the relaxation, allowed me to go about my day without tormenting myself or wasting time overthinking nonsense.
Another huge benefit was the immediate reduction in my anxiety. Literally, from the first day, I felt less muscle tension, less occasional stuttering, fewer intrusive thoughts, you name it. And I repeat, this happened from day one. For someone who had been battling anxiety for years, it felt like magic. It was like finally catching my breath after years of feeling suffocated.
Lastly, I started sleeping like a baby. One of my doses was at night, and thanks to that, I could sleep a full eight hours straight, uninterrupted. Before taking it, I didn’t have trouble falling asleep, because my anxiety would drain me by nighttime, but Clonazepam definitely helped improve my sleep hygiene.
About the negative effects
I never felt truly “slowed down,” but there were moments when my attention was a little scattered. In terms of sleep, I never randomly dozed off, but I did experience daytime drowsiness, which made me feel sluggish and uninterested in tasks that required my full focus.
Another “issue” was that sometimes it was hard to find the medication, and not taking it for a few days made me anxious. This wasn’t necessarily withdrawal, but more of a concern (probably triggered by my own anxiety) that went away as soon as I resumed my treatment.
Lastly, I did notice some memory issues, though I suspect that had more to do with my severe anxiety than with Clonazepam itself. It’s hard to say for sure, but I personally blame my disorder, specially since I continued experiencing memory problems even after finishing my psychiatric treatment. From what I’ve read, there are studies that support this.
Personal conclusion
For me, Clonazepam was something that literally saved my life. However, I firmly believe that no psychiatric treatment will be truly effective unless it’s combined with therapy. Medication helps with the symptoms, but therapy and life changes are what will actually heal the underlying issues we try to mask with trips to the psychiatrist.
I also think it’s important to mention that during my treatment, I never drank alcohol, didn’t consume caffeine, didn’t smoke, and exercised regularly. In the end, these habits are what allowed me to move past medication and manage my anxiety for good. This is a chapter of my life that I’m incredibly proud of—especially because I feel like a different person now.
Ultimately, I do recommend seeing a psychiatrist when other alternatives, like therapy alone, haven’t worked. Personally, taking care of my mental health saved my life and showed me new (and better) ways to live it.
I hope this helps someone else, and if you have any questions, feel free to reach out, I’d be happy to answer.
Without mental health, there is no health. Thanks for reading.