On the effects of responding to other blogs
I read Ava's post about the concept of the "comfort blogger," which is in some ways a response to my posts "Are you reading the same blog over and over?" and "You ARE reading the same post over and over," and I won’t lie, reading her post was a bit tough for me.
It’s not about disagreeing with what she writes, because I know that people won’t always agree with me, especially on the internet. I don’t really have a direct response to what she wrote because that’s her opinion, and I agree with her on a lot of points. But I do want to point out that I find the way she expressed her thoughts to be judgmental and slightly destructive, particularly because many assumptions were made about me and the reasons behind my writing.
And I don’t think that’s a kind way to respond, nor is it fair, especially knowing that what you say will bring negative attention to the person you’re referring to. Of course, anyone coming from her post will have a certain perspective.
Her opinion made me feel like I did something wrong. It was a weird feeling.
Here’s a summary of the assumptions I’m referring to:
- I was called “salty” for not appearing earlier in the trending posts.
- It was assumed that I wrote those posts to “do justice” to blogs that aren’t as read as the top ones, and to throw shade at those who are.
- I was accused of using the term “comfort blogger” to avoid mentioning certain writers directly and just complain about the people who make it to the trending page.
- I was also accused of “acting weird” because I wanted to make a post sharing others' writings and explaining why I was doing it, instead of just sharing the content.
Here’s my response:
I was genuinely excited to appear in the featured blogs, which I think is a natural reaction. No, I’m not anyone’s vigilante, and it was never about creating a divide between unknown blogs and bigger blogs or telling people what to read. And if I didn’t mention specific bloggers, it’s because not everyone reads the same people, and I never intended to call anyone out, precisely to avoid misunderstandings. It was a recommendation, a reflection (a personal one, by the way), and I made that clear in the criticized posts.
If I don’t have a postroll or blogroll, it’s because I don’t want one. I don’t find it practical to have a page where links just accumulate infinitely (and to be honest, other readers just ignore most of the time). I simply don’t want it; I’d rather write a post about it and recommend something in real time. Tag them properly and read them again when I feel like it. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
And that’s it.
When I read those words, I started reading my posts over and over again (no pun intended), trying to find something wrong with them. Honestly, I don’t perceive them that way. But I also take responsibility and accept the possibility that my way of expressing myself wasn’t clear enough, and that the main message got lost in my rambling. Or that I might sound a little bossy or like I’m telling people “DON’T READ THOSE PEOPLE, READ THESE INSTEAD.”
I don’t think I have to explain myself because it’s my blog. If I’m writing a post about this, it’s because I think it’s important to talk about the effect these kinds of responses/actions can have on others, using this experience as an example.
At the end of the day, writing publicly—even anonymously—isn’t easy. I strongly believe that opinions can be expressed, even when we disagree, in a way that builds a conversation or debate that helps everyone grow and understand each other, not from a defensive or ego-driven perspective.
Also, reaching out to the authors via email or other means to better understand their perspectives can be a more effective way to start a conversation on a topic of interest. It can even be productive, as it gives you more material to write about.
Honestly, I find it a bit strange that such a simple opinion and a made-up concept have gained this much traction.
On my end, I’ll leave the whole thing behind because it’s not a topic that interests me beyond what I’ve already expressed. I want to assure anyone reading this that my intention is not to create conflict; I just want to write in peace, lol. And most importantly: no hard feelings. I consider Ava an excellent writer, and her blog was a huge inspiration when I started writing here.
Oh, I almost forgot, I’ll stop commenting on Bearblog as a platform or its community because I don’t have the stomach for these things, and honestly, I’m not that passionate about the topic.
Thanks for reading.