Relationships are meant to be romanticized
In recent years, the dynamics of relationships have been heavily questioned, and honestly, I’m glad that’s the case. Gender roles, monogamy, and of course, the way each relationship chooses to experience sexuality—breaking away from the traditional family concept—are all being put up for discussion.
Personally, I agree that we should explore different ways of experiencing relationships, ways that benefit everyone involved, and prioritize equity and freedom above all else. Thanks to these conversations, we’re also learning to build healthier relationships—ones with clear boundaries, empathy, and a deeper awareness of how our actions affect others. Buuuut there’s one thing I don’t agree with: seeing relationships and love through a “realistic” lens.
People who adopt this mindset often have a very pessimistic outlook, sometimes without even realizing it. They enter relationships convinced that they could end at any moment, that love is just a chemical process that inevitably fades over time. They cling to the idea that humans aren’t a monogamous species to justify their infidelities, and they believe that “people change,” so taking separate paths is more of an inevitability than a possibility. They have this distorted concept of love, inspired by hippie bullshit and debauchery.
Now, some of these things are partially true, and of course, they can happen. But you don't enter a relationship waiting for these things to happen, and also, every time I meet someone with this mindset, I can’t shake the feeling that they’re just someone who doesn’t want to commit. And that’s fine too. What I do find questionable is how much effort they put into justifying it—going on and on just to enjoy the privileges of a relationship without the responsibility—rather than simply admitting they don’t want to commit.
What I don’t think is fine, and what I don’t understand, is the idea that relationships shouldn’t be romanticized.
Realistic relationships? What kind of fucking bullshit is that? Love isn’t realistic. It’s a concept, a feeling, something we all experience in different ways. It’s something we haven’t even been able to fully explain after millennia of existence—or rather, we’ve explained it so many times that we don’t even know what it really means anymore. Love is confusion. Love feels like everything at once. And like it or not, love is a fundamental part of every relationship—especially at the beginning when the brain is doing its fascinating little things without us realizing it.
What’s not realistic is expecting to experience love without romanticism.
Relationships exist to be romanticized—to feel everything at full intensity, to daydream, to walk hand in hand, to make promises, to swear and sacrifice in the name of making it last forever. They’re about flowers, letters, chocolates, and seeing the other person as the most special thing you’ve ever come across in your life. They’re about farting, discovering the cringiest things about your other half, and exploring every inch of their body.
Of course I'm not saying that you should sacrifice yourself for love, or for someone else. Please don’t confuse my words. I believe we should be the most important person in our life, and we should romanticize our existence before our relationships.
Needless to say, I’m a hopeless romantic. You can go ahead and crucify my post now, thanks. But regardless, I stand by what I’m saying, because seeing relationships “realistically” is just giving power to that part of society that wants to strip away the few things we have left that actually feed our souls—the few social dynamics that still have color, emotion, and passion.
I don’t care if you’re poly, mono, or whatever—please romanticize your relationships, because you deserve it. You deserve to feel invincible, to feel like the most special person in the world. You deserve everything that romance makes us feel.
I refuse to sell my soul. Thanks for reading.